The Last Hurrah

Just like so many families, we have had so much going on in our day to day life,  but combine this with my crazy travel schedule as of late (professional and personal) and all of us dealing with the emotions of the divorce, I really wanted to spend some quality time with the girls.  For their mid-winter break, I wanted to go away, someplace close and pretty easy to manage, and Frankenmuth seemed like the perfect answer.  It is called Michigan’s “Little Bavaria” and as anyone from Michigan knows, it's famous for its great chicken dinners and a wide array of German beers.  That, combined with hotels that offer multiple indoor pools, slides, arcades, and general “kid” fun, and I was in.  But there inlaid the problem- I didn’t want to take the girls by myself.  Not that I couldn’t handle it, or that I didn’t want one on one time alone with them, but that I was not ready to stop traveling as a family.  I couldn’t bear the thought of M missing out on the girls having fun, so after many discussions (M and I, as well as explaining to the girls), we decided to go together. 

And to answer your next question, no, it wasn’t weird.

It made me sad.

Despite the 10 inches of snow and ice we had just received, we decided to make a go of it, and during the 2+ hr drive the girls were in the back, playing away on their DS, and we were in the front- just like any other car trip we have ever taken.  We arrived, and the girls were bursting to get into the pools, and do we dropped our stuff off in the room, changed, and were out the door in less than 15 minutes.  We had a blast all afternoon- swimming,  relaxing in the hot tub, playing put-put golf, watching the girls hula-hoop during dinner, arcade games- even teaching the girls to Polka.  I thought to myself a few times that anyone looking in from the outside would never guess that our family was about to break apart- that in less than a month I would be moving, with the girls to follow weeks later.  That M and I were almost done with divorce proceedings, and we had just spent the previous day packing up the basement where we came across flowers I had pressed from our Junior Prom.  It was the last time we would ever travel like this- the four of us- as a family, and the knowledge of that was always there in the back of my mind. 

When we were leaving the girls said how much fun they had, and I told them how much I did too.  I also told them how, even though Mommy and Daddy would not be married anymore, it didn’t mean that we don’t still like each other and respect one another, and most of all, love both of them very much.  They nodded and said they understood, but to be honest, I not even sure if I get it.  The biggest lesson I have learned to date is that there is no “right way” or “wrong way” to work through divorce as a family, there is only “our way”.  But the trip did make me realize one thing- how much I am going to miss my friend.  The one who gave me those pink roses at Junior Prom so many years ago, who knows that if I don’t get coffee first thing in the morning don’t even bother talking to me, and knows that I am going to push to get every drop of fun out of anything I do.  And whom I know was scared to drive in that snow storm, but did it anyway because the girls and I really wanted to go, who hates the water but swam for 3 hours to keep his kids happy, and whom I know is sad about us moving even if he won’t ever say it.  And yes, there were many things during the past few days that confirmed that we no longer belong together, and one overnight trip does nothing to change the path we are on, but I choose not to concentrate on those things.  I choose to concentrate on the fact that the love M and I have for the girls does not change, and that even though this is the most difficult of times, we can still make each other smile.  Isn’t that what friends are for?