The Greatest Love of All

So.  It’s Valentine’s Day again.

Seriously, didn’t we JUST do this last year? 

Being a Singleton on VDay can be hard.  I know, I know, not to be the bitter one, and I should acknowledge that my life is filled with love (it is) and still fulfilling (you bet) and that when the time is right the person I am meant to be with will enter my life (he will).  Yep.  All good stuff.  But for today, it is still a little “In Your Face-Boo-Yay!” reminder that I am on my own.  

Even though today is all about love and relationships, the past 3 years have provided some revelations- the most important is that there are some GREAT things about being single.  Seriously!  Anyone who knows me would tell you that I would proclaim that I am not good alone, and for the most part that is still true- I thrive when I am in the right relationship- but that aside there are some serious silver linings about being independent.  And as we all know sometimes it’s the little things that make a big difference in your life. 

Therefore, I bring to you, The Redd Room’s A Few  Kick-Ass Things About Being Single:

1.     I make the rules.  Guess what?  No compromise to be had.  In the wise words of Spiderman (ok, Spiderman’s Grandfather for you purests) “With great power comes great responsibility”.  Guess what?  I have the power.  I run this entire house.  I determine where the money goes. New pair of shoes? Yep- you got it.  No one to be accountable for that except- oh yeah- me.  Where we go on vacation?  Yep, I steer that boat, too.  How we spend our time on the weekends, what I make for dinner, what colors to paint the walls, what music I listen to and at what volume- all me, me, me.

2.    I get the bed.  The whole bed.  When I first moved for over a year I still slept on “my side”.  Now, I find the indent trending a little more to the middle.  And then there is my philosophy that there is no such thing as to many pillows, and I get all those, too.  I make a nest, snuggle myself in, lie sideways if I want to- guess what?  It doesn’t matter- no one to tell me to move over, it’s too hot in here, why do you need a fan on to sleep and- the best part- no snoring to keep me up at night.  Just sayin’.

3.    How I spend my time is my business.  No reporting in- where were you?  Who did you see?  Why yes, I just had a crazy night out with a band of circus clowns and we all piled into their mini car and we drove to  a country bar to ride a mechanical bull (please note these events did not happen exactly like this- clowns have been substituted to save the names of the innocent, although somehow appropriate).  But no worries about coming home from a GNO and there being any questions about what went on (not that anything ever did) because it’s nobody’s business but mine. 

4.    Now, this one is hard, because for their sake I wish it wasn’t’ this way, but… I get all the girlies love, all the time.  I get to hear all about their day first hand, I get each one to snuggle by my side on the couch, for the most part I get to be the one to expose them to new things, cheer them on from the sidelines, the one they look out to in the audience during school performances, and reassure them that they are safe, loved, and amazing girls.  I get the snuggles in the morning from Belle, and the late night philosophical questions from GG.  Honestly, I wish it was different for them, but in the “bright side of things” philosophy I am so very grateful for this.

5.    And the best one… I get to build a great relationship- both with myself and with my future partner.  We people who lose the most important relationship of our lives might tend to spend some time thinking about what went wrong (insert sarcasm here).  We become very self-reflective, and earnestly work to acknowledge our own mistakes, not just the ex’s, in hopes to learn and grow to find what we are really longing for- the right relationship. But in this process, a great thing happens- you realize that you get to create a great relationship with yourself first.  You realize what makes you happy, and then you go and do it.  Not complicated, just true.  And when you do it right, just like any relationship, its hard work but really fun along the way.  And when you are in the right place, then you will be ready for the most amazing relationship of your life- the entire reason you were on your own in the first place- to be open and ready for that person who is meant for you.  And with that comes butterflies in the stomach, anticipation of a first kiss, the joy of getting to know someone that you feel this indescribable connection with, and the excitement over the possibility of the future- all of that is out there, waiting for me.  That’s pretty damn lucky in my book. 

So, I guess you could say that while I have not found my partner-in-crime just yet, I am breaking the old rules and learning to embrace the new ones- the ones that I determine are right for me, the ones that I make up along the way, and the ones that I have not yet faced and will of course test the limits of those as well.  Yes- I will be in the best partnership of my life….  Someday.  But for now, embracing this life is truly the greatest love of all.