Well, it was bound to come up sooner or later, and the other night at dinner, the topic was brought forth by the girls.
"What are we doing Christmas morning?"
And there it was. This moment, of many, during the first year after a divorce where you face down any day with significance with sheer determination just.to.make.it.through. It is hard enough when it is a day that just affects you; your first wedding anniversary or your birthday, for instance, but when we are dealing with events that affect multiple people, and add to that traditions that are related to it, well, it becomes a whole other story.
It's not like I didn't know it was coming. Heck, who could avoid the Christmas wrapping paper that was out prior to October 31? Then, not long after, you start to see the outside decorations come to life- stores getting decked out, talk of Black Friday, with poor Thanksgiving left in the dust. And OMG I saw my first "Every Kiss Begins With K" commercial yesterday. Yep, that made me just a little sick. And through it all, I just chose to ignore it, but alas, it's coming whether I like it or not.
But when it comes to the Big Daddy of them all, it seems that every little thing has meaning. Case in point- coming down the stairs Christmas morning. A seemingly innocent enough idea, right? But now, it has become a "thing". Every year since we had kids my sister and I have traveled to each other's homes for Christmas, alternating between Michigan and Georgia. And every year since the day they were born, the kids would all wait upstairs while the bleary eyed adults had coffee and sustenance to face the mounds of presents that took hours to open. Finally the official Price is Right moment arrived- "Come on Down!!!!"- and the gaggle of kids came racing down the stairs to bask in the glory that is Christmas morning. For the past 12 years this is how it happened. Now my sister lives right down the street, and this is really no longer realistic. But when I explained this to them, the looks of disappointment in the girls' eyes when they played back to me "You mean, it's going to just be the 3 of us?" Well, as Janice so eloquently once said, take another little piece of my heart....
And while there are so many other "things" out there that need to be dealt with- the logistics of the girls traveling to Michigan, deciding where all the decorations go in the new house, having to get a tree on my own, and just riding the emotional roller coaster until January 2, I will put on a brave face with a Joker smile and get through it. There are times that I have to sit back and acknowledge all that has occurred over the past 9 months alone. I have faced those events, and every one has made me a stronger person. This past week alone I paused to acknowledge all the wonderful things in my life, and while that does not include a partner-in-crime, it certainly does not mean that I am alone. I just need to remember that. Besides, I know that 2012 is just right around the corner....
46 more days to go.
"What are we doing Christmas morning?"
It's not like I didn't know it was coming. Heck, who could avoid the Christmas wrapping paper that was out prior to October 31? Then, not long after, you start to see the outside decorations come to life- stores getting decked out, talk of Black Friday, with poor Thanksgiving left in the dust. And OMG I saw my first "Every Kiss Begins With K" commercial yesterday. Yep, that made me just a little sick. And through it all, I just chose to ignore it, but alas, it's coming whether I like it or not.
But when it comes to the Big Daddy of them all, it seems that every little thing has meaning. Case in point- coming down the stairs Christmas morning. A seemingly innocent enough idea, right? But now, it has become a "thing". Every year since we had kids my sister and I have traveled to each other's homes for Christmas, alternating between Michigan and Georgia. And every year since the day they were born, the kids would all wait upstairs while the bleary eyed adults had coffee and sustenance to face the mounds of presents that took hours to open. Finally the official Price is Right moment arrived- "Come on Down!!!!"- and the gaggle of kids came racing down the stairs to bask in the glory that is Christmas morning. For the past 12 years this is how it happened. Now my sister lives right down the street, and this is really no longer realistic. But when I explained this to them, the looks of disappointment in the girls' eyes when they played back to me "You mean, it's going to just be the 3 of us?" Well, as Janice so eloquently once said, take another little piece of my heart....
And while there are so many other "things" out there that need to be dealt with- the logistics of the girls traveling to Michigan, deciding where all the decorations go in the new house, having to get a tree on my own, and just riding the emotional roller coaster until January 2, I will put on a brave face with a Joker smile and get through it. There are times that I have to sit back and acknowledge all that has occurred over the past 9 months alone. I have faced those events, and every one has made me a stronger person. This past week alone I paused to acknowledge all the wonderful things in my life, and while that does not include a partner-in-crime, it certainly does not mean that I am alone. I just need to remember that. Besides, I know that 2012 is just right around the corner....
46 more days to go.
