So, I was busy trying to get all of the decorations out of the garage and up in a somewhat festive way, and as I was hanging the stockings on the hearth Belle said “What about Fred?”
I paused for a minute, and said “Do you mean my boss, Fred?” Sad commentary that yes, my kids totally know the name of my (previous) boss, and that I don’t know anyone else by the name of Fred.
“No” she quickly corrected me, “Our Elf”.
Damn.
During the unpacking process, I realized that there were multiple things that never made their way into the moving truck when I was packing for Georgia. This included some of my favorite Christmas items, such as my bedazzled tree skirt, gold star topper, and crystal candle sticks.
It also included Fred.
Here are two realizations: 1. I totally forgot our Elf’s name was Fred, and 2. I am not so sad that he was left behind in Michigan.
OK, truth be told, that Elf is the bane of my existence.
Seriously, who came up with this concept? Clearly, someone that does not have any kids, because let me tell you if it was a mom she would be publically apologizing to parents all across the world for the work and effort this 7 inch doll has created.
If you are not familiar with the “Elf on the Shelf”, let me briefly explain. As a parent, you hear of this enticingly cute concept that there is a magical elf that lives in your house for the holiday season, and every night they fly back to the North Pole to report to Santa the daily behavior of the children of the house- aka, were they naughty or nice? So, you trudge to your local Barnes and Noble and purchase the Elf and book set for about $25. You excitingly bring it home, knowing this will be good times as you all name your Elf, and envision how it will not only be a miraculous bad behavior deterrent, but heck, fun for the whole family as well.
Then you realize the truth. This is really just more work for you.
Here is the problem- every night when the elf returns he lands in a different spot. Let me just ask fellow Elf mom and dads- how many times have you forgotten to move that f*&(#$% Elf? Then what do you say? And it is not easy to keep coming up with new and creative ideas for your Elf… oh, he is supposed to be so cute and mischievous- and yet in reality my Elf just moves slightly to the left on the bookshelf. Did you notice? Maybe that is the crazy mind games that only my Elf plays.
Anyway, Fred is busy watching over the activity in Michigan, and I am sure will rejoin us next year. Until then, I wanted to share what some other very bad Elves have been up to. Please- this is not for the kids, nor for anyone that truly loves their Elf.
