Here we are- just a few days before my first Triathlon. Even writing those words together- “My” and “Triathlon”
are still a little foreign to me. I know
that I have been working toward this goal for almost 6 months- and not just
building up my stamina for the swim, bike and run portions, but there has been so much mental preparation as
well. There was the signing up- because you
know, once I am committed to something, there is no backing down. Then I started researching training plans,
and after those initial first laps in the pool where after 100 meters I thought I might drown in
exhaustion, not letting that discourage me and instead drive me to improve. Then there is the equipment- new running
shoes (yay!), purchasing a bike (used),
learning to clip in on the bike (yeah, that was comical- 20 minutes on
the first try), forgetting you are clipped in when you stop (aka- you fall
over), and that is not to mention the special gloves, socks, racing belt,
sunglasses, goggles, and the ever glamorous tri-suit (you know what is not
attractive? Me- in spandex.) Anyway, I have navigated through all of that,
and with the event only days away, I all mixed up with this combination of
nervousness and excitement.
I think more nervous than excited, but it depends on the
moment.
I know this is not an Iron Man, but for me it has nothing to
do with the distance, it has everything to do with being there. Setting a goal and accomplishing it.
Which is where the whole “setting expectations” part comes
in.
Shortly after I had signed up for the race, I went and
researched the previous few years winners in my age category. I found the best times for each segment of
the race, as well as the best transition times.
Clearly, I was going to beat all of these- on my first time out,
nonetheless. To say I have high
expectations of myself is not a surprise, and ok, I MAY tend to set the bar a
little high sometimes, but I don’t think that being a goal driven individual is
a bad thing. The challenge comes when
someone such as myself sets an expectation, and then holds yourself to the
standard of either you are the best- or you are not. And if you aren’t the best, then what does
that make you? Ahhhhh…. There’s the
rub. No one sets out to say- yes, my
goal is to be mediocre! I want to come
in with the rest of the pack!
Again, the lessons we are forced to learn…..
The reality is that Life has a way of happening, and in between
the demands we all face, I was not always able to check every box in that very
detailed training plan that I so diligently researched in the beginning. I did not make the cycling club practices,
nor was I able to complete an open water swim.
I know- all this is less than ideal.
And after my first few transitions going from a 20 mile bike to trying
to run at all was nearly impossible, I seriously started to question
my ability that I was going to finish, let alone make the best time.
One giant piece of humility coming up!
Now I have a different set of expectations. And while I jokingly tell people that my new
goal is to just not have the paramedics carry me off the course, the reality is
that I have faith in my ability to at least get it done. I won’t be fast, I may have to walk (although
I really hope not), but I WILL cross the finish line. And regardless of what the official race
clock shows, I will feel like a champion
when I do, because that is my own race- with myself- that I will have won. I will have achieved my personal best by just
going out and doing something that I have never done before. I am acknowledging that just finishing is something wonderful. And hopefully, moving forward, I will be able
to apply that same philosophy to other parts of my life- that being the best me
is the best accomplishment, the best reward, that there is.
One step at a time, I know I will get to that finish
line.
