What About Fred?

So, I was busy trying to get all of the decorations out of the garage and up in a somewhat festive way, and as I was hanging the stockings on the hearth Belle said “What about Fred?” 

I paused for a minute, and said “Do you mean my boss, Fred?”  Sad commentary that yes, my kids totally know the name of my (previous) boss, and that I don’t know anyone else by the name of Fred.

“No” she quickly corrected me, “Our Elf”.

Damn.

During the unpacking process, I realized that there were multiple things that never made their way into the moving truck when I was packing for Georgia.   This included some of my favorite Christmas items, such as my bedazzled tree skirt, gold star topper, and crystal candle sticks.

It also included Fred.

Here are two realizations: 1. I totally forgot our Elf’s name was Fred, and 2. I am not so sad that he was left behind in Michigan.

OK, truth be told, that Elf is the bane of my existence.

Seriously, who came up with this concept?  Clearly, someone that does not have any kids, because let me tell you if it was a mom she would be publically apologizing to parents all across the world for the work and effort this 7 inch doll has created.

If you are not familiar with the “Elf on the Shelf”, let me briefly explain.  As a parent, you hear of this enticingly cute concept that there is a magical elf that lives in your house for the holiday season, and every night they fly back to the North Pole to report to Santa the daily behavior of the children of the house- aka, were they naughty or nice?  So, you trudge to your local Barnes and Noble and purchase the Elf and book set for about $25.  You excitingly bring it home, knowing this will be good times as you all name your Elf, and envision how it will not only be a miraculous bad behavior deterrent, but heck, fun for the whole family as well.

Then you realize the truth.  This is really just more work for you.

Here is the problem- every night when the elf returns he lands in a different spot.  Let me just ask fellow Elf mom and dads- how many times have you forgotten to move that f*&(#$% Elf?  Then what do you say?  And it is not easy to keep coming up with new and creative ideas for your Elf… oh, he is supposed to be so cute and mischievous- and yet in reality my Elf just moves slightly to the left on the bookshelf.  Did you notice?  Maybe that is the crazy mind games that only my Elf plays.

Anyway, Fred is busy watching over the activity in Michigan, and I am sure will rejoin us next year.  Until then, I wanted to share what some other very bad Elves have been up to.  Please- this is not for the kids, nor for anyone that truly loves their Elf. 

In other words- Enjoy!

http://www.babyrabies.com/2011/12/inappropriate-elf-contest/

http://www.babyrabies.com/2011/12/inappropriate-elf-contest/

Is it over yet?

Well, it was bound to come up sooner or later, and the other night at dinner, the topic was brought forth by the girls.

"What are we doing Christmas morning?"

And there it was.  This moment, of many, during the first year after a divorce where you face down any day with significance with sheer determination just.to.make.it.through. It is hard enough when it is a day that just affects you; your first wedding anniversary or your birthday, for instance, but when we are dealing with events that affect multiple people, and add to that traditions that are related to it, well, it becomes a whole other story.

It's not like I didn't know it was coming. Heck, who could avoid the Christmas wrapping paper that was out prior to October 31?  Then, not long after, you start to see the outside decorations come to life- stores getting decked out, talk of Black Friday, with poor Thanksgiving left in the dust. And OMG I saw my first "Every Kiss Begins With K" commercial yesterday.  Yep, that  made me just a little sick. And through it all, I just chose to ignore it, but alas, it's coming whether I like it or not.

But when it comes to the Big Daddy of them all, it seems that every little thing has meaning.  Case in point- coming down the stairs Christmas morning.  A seemingly innocent enough idea, right?  But now, it has become a "thing".  Every year since we had kids my sister and I have traveled to each other's homes for Christmas, alternating between Michigan and Georgia.  And every year since the day they were born, the kids would all wait upstairs while the bleary eyed adults had coffee and sustenance to face the mounds of presents that took hours to open.  Finally the official Price is Right moment arrived- "Come on Down!!!!"- and the gaggle of kids came racing down the stairs to bask in the glory that is Christmas morning.   For the past 12 years this is how it happened. Now my sister lives right down the street, and this is really no longer realistic.  But when I explained this to them, the looks of disappointment in the girls' eyes when they played back to me "You mean, it's going to just be the 3 of us?" Well, as Janice so eloquently once said, take another little piece of my heart....

And while there are so many other "things" out there that need to be dealt with- the logistics of the girls traveling to Michigan, deciding where all the decorations go in the new house, having to get a tree on my own, and just riding the emotional roller coaster until January 2, I will put on a brave face with a Joker smile and get through it.  There are times that I have to sit back and acknowledge all that has occurred over the past 9 months alone.  I have faced those events, and every one has made me a stronger person.  This past week alone I paused to acknowledge all the wonderful things in my life, and while that does not include a partner-in-crime, it certainly does not mean that I am alone.  I just need to remember that. Besides, I know that 2012 is just right around the corner....

46 more days to go.