What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I woke up this morning and could feel the brisk air coming in through my bedroom window; it was 50 degrees.  Brrrrr!  I quickly got up and did what anyone would naturally do- I put a turkey in the oven. I’m not kidding.

 

While the beauty of fall in Michigan is unparalleled, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love the fall here in Georgia (don’t worry, Peach State, you win hands down when spring rolls around).  October is my favorite color, and while I am so glad that it’s here, the chill in the air and crunch of leaves under your feet makes summer feel like eons ago when in reality it was only 10 weeks past.

 

This summer was a season of change for me (do I constantly say that here?  Should I just embrace that LIFE is CHANGE?  Ok, that will have to be another post for another day… but still…) I left a job where I had grown a lot professionally and can honestly say I made some lifelong friends; I love my DD peeps.  It was hard, and then again it wasn’t, because I knew it was time.  I also knew that it was time to face something that I had placed in the dark recesses of my mind, and that before I could move forward into my next life adventure I needed to adventure back to where I had last left.  So, while I feel that I should have captured these details with a freshly sharpened #2 pencil right after Labor Day,  I will instead write them for you here. 

 

This is what I did on my summer vacation. 

 

#1: Went back to visit where I am from and realized how far I have come.

 

I had been putting it off way to long; I needed to go back to Michigan.  There were clearly some parts that I missed- family, friends, the familiarity of it all, but mostly the beauty of Northern Michigan or the presence of The Big House that honestly can’t be described unless you have seen it.  Then there were the parts that I didn’t miss- the signs of economic challenge, the town-where-you-grew-up feel that was just no longer me, the memories and the knowledge that this was the life I thought I once was going to live forever. 

 

I had not been back since I packed up the kids, the dog and they Dyson into the Expedition and moved to Georgia, and here I was with the kids all packed up for their annual summer pilgrimage and I was taking us back to where we had left off. I swear I nearly started hyperventilating when I passed the exit to my old house off I-75 that we shared as a family. Then there was the sledding hill, West road, and all of the other things that didn’t seemed to have changed since I left years ago.  It’s funny how quickly you start driving all of your old routes, know you can find whatever you might need at Meijer, how you still get so easily frustrated when you find yourself stuck by a train on Allen road, and think about how many countless hours of your life you have spent in “park” waiting for the freight cars to pass.  How you could have found yourself sitting there in that exact same moment but this still being your hometown if things had been different. 

 

The morning after I dropped the girls off at their dad’s I took a personal guided tour of my life.  I visited every house I ever lived in, saw some of the same neighbors at each; outside watering plants, mowing the lawn, knowing that the reality of me having lived in the house next door has no bearing on their life today. I saw kids playing in the court where I had once played, the bedroom window where my best friend from high school and I would sneak out onto the roof (for no apparent reason) and where someone had spray painted the driveway during my high school years (and I still wonder what would possess someone to do that?).  I drove past the first house M and I purchased and was sad to see the Magnolia tree gone, and curious if they were able to cover the 5 coats of paint I put on the wall in order to get just the right shade of burgundy in the living room, or if they thought the old fashioned milk shoot was as cool as I did.  I then drove past the last house, the one the girls still think of as their Michigan home.  Looking at that house seemed like a whole different lifetime ago.  Actually, the entire trip seemed like someone else’s life; like I was a visitor in my own home, which in reality is exactly what I was.  Not until this moment have I been able to say that I am proud of the life I have created on my own here, a meaningful life for the girlies and I, and truly mean it.

 

#2: Answered the life-long question: What DOES one wear when you are meeting your ex-husbands girlfriend for the first time?

 

Oh yes.  This happened.  During M’s last trip to Georgia I told him that after all these years clearly she was going to remain in the picture, and if she was going to be in the girls lives then I wanted to meet her.  I made it clear that I wasn’t doing it for him, but for them.   As anyone would expect, having this person in their dads lives has had its share of ups and downs.  I am proud to say that I have been fully supportive and encouraging for the girls to get to know her… ok, perhaps I am holding it as some sort of “pay it forward / good karma” sort of thing, but nonetheless I approached it how I would hope M would approach it for me one day. 

 

The day finally arrived and I found myself wishing I had partaken in some liquid courage before the event.  Not because I had anything to prove, but just because… can you say awkward?!?  We met in the local park on a sunny afternoon, and after lunch I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk (I think M thought that she might not return given the look on his face.)  But I had fully thought this out, and there were some things that needed to be said. 

 

First, I told her thank you.  Yep, that’s right- thank you.  I know that the reasons that M and the girls do more activities is because she plans a lot of them, and I believe that having new experiences is very important in life.  Also because I know M is happy, and if she is the one that makes him happy, then I know that means he will be in a better place when the girls are with him.  And again, how the girls feel is what’s important here.

 

Second, I wanted to tell her that even though M comes to Georgia and for now might stay with us during his visits, she has nothing to worry about.  Ever.

 

The third thing I told her remains private.  She knows, I know, M knows. That’s all that need to know.  But I’m glad I said it.

 

#3:  Sometimes the best plan is no plan at all.

 

After I returned home from Michigan, I soon realized that for the first time ever in my life, I had no job, no kids.  No email, no deadlines, no conference calls, no soccer practice, no dinners to make, no laundry to fold.  This miracle window of no responsibility was the equivalent of a solar eclipse; acknowledge it, respect it, but don’t blink because otherwise you will miss it and it will be gone.  Time to check something off the Life List. 

 

Not enough time to travel overseas, I cashed in my Delta points and hopped a first class ticket to Portland.  Flying over Mr. Rainer was amazing, and I could feel the excitement of exploration in the air. I had a hotel, a map, a good friend, lots of things to see and no plans other than to just figure it out in the moment.  And that’s what we did and it all worked out.  Actually better than just worked out- the amazing waterfalls, Voodoo Donuts, the countless craft breweries, an unplanned side trip to Washington, stumbling on the most beautiful beach and watching the sun set and overall weirdness of Portland definitely made it a trip to remember.  

A good lesson to hold onto when I find myself trying to plan and schedule every minute of my life.

 

Which brings me full circle back to fall, and the crisp breeze coming through my kitchen window stirring the scent of roast turkey through the air.  More changes are on the horizon for us- pretty significant changes- but more on that another day.  For now, I am going to turn on the game, enjoy the season, hold onto lessons that this year has brought me and ready myself for the next ones to come.