For those that have known me my entire life, to say that I
have always been health conscious might result in some hysterical
laughter. But after realizing that there
was a way I wanted to live, and most importantly a way I didn’t, I made some
significant life changes and here we are today, a healthier version of me.
This is not to say that (just like everyone else) I still don't struggle. Besides for that one week a month where I fluxuate 5 lbs. and I must then transition to the stretchy yoga pants (don’t lie ladies- we all have them) used to accommodate the situation, I do try to reasonably stay on track most of the time.
But then there are times, well, when things start to slowly unravel. I have week after week of travel, and despite trying to still bring a healthy lunch from Whole Foods, the dinners out, drinks after that, and the not so healthy array of what might be available in an airport does not help. Neither does the 12 hours of straight meetings and said dinners, which leaves no time for a good workout. And did I mention that I work for a company that supplies free donuts and ice cream ALL THE TIME? Combine this with trying to heal a knee injury, and suddenly I find myself permanently transitioned to previously mentioned stretchy pants.
I try telling myself that it is due to that one week a month, but then it rolled into weeks after that. I then tried to justify that it could not have been as bad as I thought it was- you know, as I was laying on the bed trying to zip up the “night on the town” jeans (don’t lie ladies- we all have those, too). Perhaps some Carny came in and installed those funky carnival mirrors all over the house which projects a bigger self, and it’s not reality?
Sadly, no.
Because then I stepped on the scale. And those 5 lbs. were most certainly there. Along with some of his friends.
For a girl that is 5’4” (on a good day) those unwelcome friends is almost a SIZE on me. It makes everything suddenly feel tight.
I was off my game.
And I should have seen it coming.
Why you ask? Because my house had been sabotaged.
When I am on my game, I eat well- very little carbs, no dairy, but of course there is always dark chocolate (I am not insane). I actually like the way I feel when I eat this way, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss the good stuff. And suddenly, they start appearing.
The first culprit to arrive is usually this:
Never heard of it?
Well then you are clearly not a butter fiend like I am. Yes, I might sell a body part for some really
good butter. Not margarine, not even
something like Land-o-Lakes; oh no- I am talking pure European butter. Kate’s Farm Fresh Homemade Butter from
Maine. Icelandic butter. Betcha didn’t even know there was something
such as “Icelandic butter” did you? Well
trust me on this one- just say no. If
not, before you know it the entire stick will have disappeared using some vehicle
such as flax bread under the guise that you are actually eating something healthy
but all the while you can’t even see the bread because it is smothered with the
golden shimmer of pure heaven across every inch so as to not miss a spot. Oh, and then there’s the bread involved.
Yeah, that’s not so good either.
Again, I start off slathering the said crack food on strawberry’s- hey! I’m eating fruit! But soon there is more chocolaty hazelnut spread than berry, and so then I just go for the easy move and break out a spoon. Yep, me, the jar, and a spoon. I start by using the spoon like a cement trowel to “even it out”. Come on- you know exactly what I am talking about. And before you know it, you have reached bottom. Literally and figuratively.
Now, even the girlies will tell you, there is one food that is NEVER allowed in the house. I mean it- in what I am afraid might be a moment of weakness I will avoid Isle 4 in Publix so I don’t even have to walk past them. Because they are evil. Just. Pure. Evil.
Oh, you think they are all cute and every generation enjoys them- you may discuss all the ways there is to eat them, their Double Stuff brothers or their holiday colored cousins, but that is a lie! They are all the same… and the problem is you can’t have just one. Bring me a cold glass of milk (said item’s accomplice) and back in the day I could easily have downed almost half a row before I knew it. Seriously, if you ever find a bag of these and a gallon of 2% in the house, put me on 24 hour surveillance because I have clearly gone off the deep end.
Luckily there is the internet where I was able to obtain the mug shots used here because I am gettin’ my game back on. Back to the gym, getting in some good workouts, and even signing up for a 10k in order to provide some extra motivation. Healthy choices to be had in the house, and while I have never been one to deprive myself, putting forth just a little more discipline.
Because I know it’s all up to me. No matter how much I want to blame a Carny.
This is not to say that (just like everyone else) I still don't struggle. Besides for that one week a month where I fluxuate 5 lbs. and I must then transition to the stretchy yoga pants (don’t lie ladies- we all have them) used to accommodate the situation, I do try to reasonably stay on track most of the time.
But then there are times, well, when things start to slowly unravel. I have week after week of travel, and despite trying to still bring a healthy lunch from Whole Foods, the dinners out, drinks after that, and the not so healthy array of what might be available in an airport does not help. Neither does the 12 hours of straight meetings and said dinners, which leaves no time for a good workout. And did I mention that I work for a company that supplies free donuts and ice cream ALL THE TIME? Combine this with trying to heal a knee injury, and suddenly I find myself permanently transitioned to previously mentioned stretchy pants.
I try telling myself that it is due to that one week a month, but then it rolled into weeks after that. I then tried to justify that it could not have been as bad as I thought it was- you know, as I was laying on the bed trying to zip up the “night on the town” jeans (don’t lie ladies- we all have those, too). Perhaps some Carny came in and installed those funky carnival mirrors all over the house which projects a bigger self, and it’s not reality?
Sadly, no.
Because then I stepped on the scale. And those 5 lbs. were most certainly there. Along with some of his friends.
For a girl that is 5’4” (on a good day) those unwelcome friends is almost a SIZE on me. It makes everything suddenly feel tight.
I was off my game.
And I should have seen it coming.
Why you ask? Because my house had been sabotaged.
When I am on my game, I eat well- very little carbs, no dairy, but of course there is always dark chocolate (I am not insane). I actually like the way I feel when I eat this way, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss the good stuff. And suddenly, they start appearing.
The first culprit to arrive is usually this:
If I continue to be sliding down the slippery slope of
“well, maybe I will just pick up a little something special this week” this
next criminal finds itself on my panty shelf:
Again, I start off slathering the said crack food on strawberry’s- hey! I’m eating fruit! But soon there is more chocolaty hazelnut spread than berry, and so then I just go for the easy move and break out a spoon. Yep, me, the jar, and a spoon. I start by using the spoon like a cement trowel to “even it out”. Come on- you know exactly what I am talking about. And before you know it, you have reached bottom. Literally and figuratively.
Now, even the girlies will tell you, there is one food that is NEVER allowed in the house. I mean it- in what I am afraid might be a moment of weakness I will avoid Isle 4 in Publix so I don’t even have to walk past them. Because they are evil. Just. Pure. Evil.
Oh, you think they are all cute and every generation enjoys them- you may discuss all the ways there is to eat them, their Double Stuff brothers or their holiday colored cousins, but that is a lie! They are all the same… and the problem is you can’t have just one. Bring me a cold glass of milk (said item’s accomplice) and back in the day I could easily have downed almost half a row before I knew it. Seriously, if you ever find a bag of these and a gallon of 2% in the house, put me on 24 hour surveillance because I have clearly gone off the deep end.
Luckily there is the internet where I was able to obtain the mug shots used here because I am gettin’ my game back on. Back to the gym, getting in some good workouts, and even signing up for a 10k in order to provide some extra motivation. Healthy choices to be had in the house, and while I have never been one to deprive myself, putting forth just a little more discipline.
Because I know it’s all up to me. No matter how much I want to blame a Carny.
